Snowmen Should Be Endangered

'Tis the season, ladies and gents. That's right, snow is here and my personal opinion? It blows. I'm not saying it doesn't go without its three seconds of wide eyed childlike splendor. Sure, I might watch the first one fall and think, "Shit, nature, you got me...". But let me remind you that heart quaking appreciation lasts a total of three seconds. Then I remember, ITS OCTOBER!!! It is ridiculously cold outside and I find it to be a quintessential pain in my ass. 

I'm not a person that does well with freezing weather. My arctic snow dog on the other hand runs balls out, bright eyed and bushy tailed into Eskimo bliss. And luckey me, stands shivering in awkward snow boots and pajamas cussing under my breathe as Niko runs rampant in the backyard. Niko loves the cold, I do not. When the weather gets cold I get sick. I have built in weather-bullshit-meter that detects the oncoming blizzards. I instantly develop a runny nose and fever that last 2-3 working days. Naturally, I stay in my room nestled under my purple bedspread as long as I can without creating fist sized bedsores on my back. Reluctantly, I'll get out to go to school or retrieve my crazed snow guzzling husky out of the yard. 

However, it seems my impending misfortune has changed for the better. I'm moving. To California. A place where sun diseased skanks roam and ocean loving dolphins flourish. And I don't know if you got the message but dolphins don't do snow, ice, or anything of the cold persuasion. Because dolphins are badass, and the cold sucks ass. Yeah, its gonna blow for Niko, but lucky for me he doesn't have a job, can't drive, and is about as independent as a one-eyed goldfish. Therefore, he ultimately has no say. Are you people jealous? Good, I should hope so.