Ok, so it has literally been almost a year since I've written one of this deal-ios and I figure its about damn time. So today someone texted me from a number I do not know. Now normally this is not a huge problem because I slyly hinted to figure out who the stranger (more like drunken acquaintance was) with such clever inquiry as "Ohhh, where are you living now?" or "Didn't I see you face down spewing beer into crotch last weekend?". But this is one person I awkwardly cannot shake. And for some damn reason, I can't fucking get myself to ask who the F this person is. For my birthday he/she/alien sent me a text saying "I can't believe you're so old I remember changing your diapers!". WHAT??? 1. You are obviously older than me by enough years for my mom to have considered you qualified to clean the feces out of my crack and not be a pedophile (how ever I wonder if you are a pedophile and have somehow had an effect on the perversion of my bro) 2. Why the hell don't I know your number if you are in that "old enough to hang out with my parents" range? because please, I always triple kiss my parents' friends 3. You have obviously touched my ass..... what did you think? Ok, but truthfully I will get random ass messages from this person, not regularly, but enough that I officially feel like an asshole for not knowing who the alien is..... BUT I've buried myself too far and am embarrassed to ask. Solution? Roll with the shit and hope I will never have to answer 20 questions from this dude/dinosaur/coke dealer. And if I do? I'll do the same 'ol and shoot from the hip......
Stranger Danger....Beware Assholes
Stranger Danger....Beware Assholes
